Dead Man's Bounty

SKINOPSIS

"You can call me a bitch... or pussy..." The word is cunt you dumb Polish whore, but hey at least it's in English.

We'd almost given up on this "first Polish Western." We got all excited when the opening dead-body-discovery scene had given us a nice look at a dead chick's ass, but soon grew weary as it was just a bunch of Polish men trying to act tough and shooting at each other. But then we saw her. Katarzyna Figura isn't gonna give Gisele or any of those other 'rexi chicks a run for their modeling careers or anything. Hell, she's more like the kind of chick we hit on when the bar's about to close and the little voice in our head won't shut up about how if we don't stick our wang into some slippery snashish then we're going to have to bathe in bleach again. But, there's something vaguely sexy about a hardscrabble, thick chick with unfortunately curly hair, and from the moment we laid eyes on her, we had to see her naked. But how? Gratuitousness, that's how. All of a sudden, she's not wearing any pants and having art film sex with some dude as their bodies get contorted into weird positions allowing us multiple looks at her curly bush, as well as her tits. Later, we get to see her tortured and her tits come out then too as she has her head shoved in between a baddie's legs and has her head violently shaved. So, don't think of this as the movie where Val Kilmer played a corpse, think of this as the movie where Katarzyna Figura figured she'd show her bush.