Lady Chatterley (Marina Hands)

REVIEW
Either Kenneth Turan doesn't have a very long memory, or he hasn't seen Girls of Bill Zebub 2. But there's no denying a certain heat on the screen. Obviously this is based on D.H. Lawrence's massive novel, and it's a fucking long movie too, but the director was smart enough to cut out whole chunks of the story and instead focus on the scenes of seduction and sex. The clothes stay on for the first few encounters, but there's a huge payoff at about the two hour mark: the famous "frolic in the fields" scene. Marina Hands looks like the happiest hippie on earth running around naked for 3 solid minutes, and it doesn't end there. They go inside, and while she poses nude on the floor, he dresses her up in wildflowers. You can practically smell the patchouli, but I've always had a soft spot for flower girls flower children. So yeah, this is a damn good date movie. It looks all artsy, it delivers the goods, it'll get you turned on, and more importantly, it'll get your lady turned on. And you'll look like fucking Clark Gable next to that slobby Jean-Louis Coulloc'h turdbucket!