X-Men: The Last Stand

REVIEW
Many fans predicted that the X-franchise’s loss of director Bryan Singer would spell disaster for the mutant chronicles. Turns out they were on to something, as fill-in hack Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) takes the wheel and nose-dives the endless possibilities of an X-film straight into the ground. X3 is more of a disappointment than it is a disaster, featuring a few truly exciting action scenes amongst the plot progressions that are captured without any hint of style. The subpar quality of X3 isn’t all Ratner’s fault by any means. The production design is bland and lazy, as demonstrated by the crinkled saran wrap styled walls of Magneto’s hideout. The costumes reach a point of distraction in their awfulness (all evil mutants that don’t have codenames dress like Mad Max). Worst of all is the script, which abandons a theme in favor of brief mentions of mutant affairs that vaguely mirror current events. The film’s main plot involves the development of a “cure” for mutants, which hinges on the abilities of a young mutant named Leech. This concept alone provides enough dramatic material to drive a new trilogy of films, but it's merely glossed over in favor of frequent fight scenes that lack the slickness and believability of the previous two installments. There are a surprising number of unnecessary character deaths that seem to indicate which actors neglected to sign on for a fourth film. The deaths seem pointless, which was possibly recognized by the filmmakers; they tack on a retraction at credits’ end.

The majority of the cast of X2 returns, with the notable exception of Alan Cumming as the furry blue Nightcrawler. Luckily Kelsey Grammer steps in as the furry blue Beast, surprisingly abandoning his scholarly Frasier accent in the process. Also new to the X-Mansion are the obnoxiously ethereal Angel, whose wide-angled flight scenes provide unintentional laughter, and the phase-changing Kitty Pryde who is played rather charmingly by Ellen Page (Hard Candy). Soccer thug Vinnie Jones (Lock, Stock…) does his usual schtick as the unstoppable Juggernaut, who has the pleasure of delivering what will surely be the worst one-liner of the summer. Veterans like Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry don’t seem as enthusiastic about their characters as they once were, but Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen do another fine job as former best friends turned rivals.

Perhaps X3’s biggest flaw is its reliance on the built-in audience who will undoubtedly see an X-film regardless of quality. Opening weekend numbers attest to this, which will surely result in the futher decline of mutant civilization.