Palo Alto

SKINOPSIS

Ok, so to be perfectly honest: we feel a little violated. The back of the box said "Pervasive language, Sexual Content, Nudity, Drug and Alchol Use - All Involving Teens." It fucking said that. Not "Brief Nudity" mind you, but "Nudity" with no clarifier. So obviously, we popped it in... as we always do when it uses that magic word.

What we got was a serious case of heartache and nudity deprivation. We are, mind you, used to getting gypped on the hottie we want to get naked, actually getting naked. It happens all the time, it's the plague of nudity in film. You can seldom get the classy chick that everyone falls in love with to take her top off. It happens, we can deal. But, goddamn if we didn't fall head over heels in love/lust with Autumn Reeser. In-fucking-credible. Mousy in the hottest way, dirty blonde, girl-next-door type, a little sad, a little insecure. Exactly, the kind of girl we always wind up stalking. But the closest she gets to sex/nudity is a kiss. One fucking kiss, no clothing removed. God-fucking-damnit!

Deep breaths, Stank... deep breaths. Okay. Moving on.

There are tits. Very few tits with very little screen time. At some point Boy Meets World and his brother (not Kevin Arnold, his movie life brother) find a couple of hotties at a party who, inexplicably, seem to dig them. So, they take them to a backroom where said hotties make out while one is topless before splitting into boy-girl couples when the holdout chick briefly shows one of hers while riding the Boy Meets World train (we wonder if Topanga's jealous). But that's it, that's all the boobs we got.

Now, we're sitting here, hopelessly in love (LOVE we tell ya) with Autumn Reeser and we fear we'll never see her boobs. So sad.