Ultraviolet (2006)

REVIEW
The comely Jovovich stars as a Hemophage (a sort-of vampire) in a futuristic, oppressive society where much of the population was mutated like Milla through a viral plague. While many of the Hemophages were killed or died off, most of the remaining mutants have become underground rebels; when they catch wind of the government's plan to use a secret new weapon to wipe out the rest of them, tuff-ass Milla is sent to retrieve the device. A rather blah premise here, but writer-director's Wimmer's previous feature (the guilty pleasure Equilibrium) was also derivative; however, that film had good performances and some terrifically entertaining shoot-outs to partially compensate. UV has absolutely nothing to recommend it, alas. Embarrassing special effects (many of the cityscape backgrounds look like fingerpaintings!), indifferent (at best) performances, and nonsensical, confused storytelling are some of the more apparent flaws in the film. The biggest surprise, however, is the lack of imagination (and dire execution) of the action scenes; most of them are laughable, and half the time it's difficult to tell what exactly is going on. Plus, when our heroine can do virtually anything (she has an anti-gravity device that enables her to run along the ceiling and drive motorbikes up the side of buildings, and can compress weapons, so that she can carry literally hundreds of firearms, etc, etc), suspense goes right out the window, for we know nothing can happen to her. Hell, even Superman has Kryptonite to contend with. Wimmer resorts to some of the clunkiest exposition in recent memory (there are several scenes where characters relate information to each other that they both already know); he also hasn't any grasp of pacing this time around. Despite the brief running time, UV feels twice as long as it is, chiefly because it's obvious very early on that this is going to be one extremely uninvolving waste of time. It's one of those movies where, around ten minutes in, you know you're not going to like it. Milla looks good in leather, though....