Van Helsing

REVIEW
Monsters and bats and wolves, oh my. They're all here, that is Frankenstein and Dracula and Wolf Man. And that's part of the problem of this slick, over-produced, loud and loopy vampire story that has bit off more than it can chew. No longer an elderly crusader as in Bram Stoker's book "Dracula," Van Helsing is now a young, beefy superhero (played by the young, beefy Jackman) who works for the Vatican fighting the dark side that most of the world doesn't know exists. After tackling Dr. Jekyll, who looks suspiciously like The Hulk, Van Helsing travels to Transylvania. There he teams with Lara Croft-wannabe and vampire hunter Anna (Beckinsale), and together they take on Dracula and his brides. Jackman and Beckinsale are both in rote mode, reciting lines with professionalism but adding nothing to characters who are given nothing substantial to recite. It is Roxburgh, however, as Dracula who has the most fun, and the actor creates a particuarly worthy heavy for the two to fight. Too bad the majority of the film doesn't have his panache. The CGI effects and makeup are terrific, but at this stage they oughta be. It's just that they bombard the viewer, with nary a second to take a breath. If that's what you're looking for, then this is for you. Van Helsing is nonstop action with spectacular scenic design and effects -- it never lets up once. But it's also brainless and quite silly (intentionally and unintentionally) and lacks the verve that have made these monsters such great fun since the 1930s.