Swept Away (2002)

REVIEW
Let's all give thanks to Guy Ritchie, for proving that it's not just Americans who can remake classic films into putrid garbage. Madonna stars as the stuck-up wife of a businessman, who ends up stranded on a deserted island with one of the deckboys (Giannini, son of the original's Giancarlo). The roles reverse, in a satiric taming of the shrew that just doesn't work, now that women's status as societal equals is inarguable. It's hard to tell whether Ritchie really loves his wife (for casting the notorious non-actress in the lead) or hates her (for subjecting her to a two-note role as a harpy-cum-submissive slave). Where original director Lina Wertmuller pushed buttons in the original, Ritchie merely seems to be punching the clock, making the violent central seduction all the more reprehensible.