Python

REVIEW
A giant, genetically engineered python survives a plane crash and kills lotsa people. That's it for plot -- well, actually, that should be it, but the filmmakers seem to be operating under the mistaken impression that we need weak, overlong comic interludes (provided by a blue-haired Wheaton and a terrible McCarthy) and loads of dull "character development." Certainly, even in a giant monster movie, one should care that the leads survive, but in Python, an inordinate amount of time is spent on a dull love triangle. Still, the snake scenes are fake but fun, and any movie with Van Dien struggling with a ridiculous Southern accent while scolding Robert Englund for creating a giant killer snake can't be all bad.