Tracks (Dennis Hopper)

SKINOPSIS

Once upon a time he was the biggest star in Hollywood, and with a name like Tyrone Power he would have to be. Seriously, how fucking cool is that fucking name? Tyrone Power... Wow. That fucking name is so fucking cool that we would bet our entire collection of eBay®-procured, celebrity-soiled undergarments that had Diddy's parents the good sense to name him Tyrone-mother-fucking-Power he would never change it, like ever. Biggie "The Notorious B.I.G." Smalls could rise from the dead and call him Ty-Pizzy or Power-daddy or something and Diddy would be all, "Sorry Big, Tyrone Power is the name. Don't wear it out. Yeah, it’s Bad Boy. C'mon."

Then he would start dancing.

You're probably wondering how this pertains to a movie about a shell-shocked Vietnam vet riding a train with his buddy, the corpse? Well, it really doesn't. But, Tyrone did have a daughter whom he named Taryn - Yup, Taryn-mother-fucking-Power. Are these people like the fucking Marvel Family or what? Hey Ty, where’s Hoppy the "Power" Bunny and Captain Tyrone Power, Jr? Ya nut.

Taryn is in this movie and her mighty, exposed rib cushions make the quickest of cameos ... Judging by what we've learned from reprints of old Whiz Comics, we'd bet our Jessica Alba sweat-stained, ankle sock that they're named "something" Power too.