Hugo Pool

REVIEW
Misguided and inept in every department, Hugo Pool rivals only the pooch from As Good as It Gets as 1997's top dog. Milano is (inexplicably) Hugo, assigned to clean 44 pools in one day. While working her rounds, she encounters an array of "quirky" eccentrics -- you know the type, the ones to give quirky a bad name. These include wheelchair-bound Dempsey, afflicted with Lou Gehrig's Disease and only capable of communicating via computerized voice; and Downey, who has a penchant for bizarre accents and gay theatrics. Given its seizure-inducing dialogue, grating score and career-nadir performances, Hugo Pool is an even bigger disappointment given the talented, eclectic cast (with exception of Milano, who has the screen presence of tissue paper). The only amusing scene is unintentionally funny: When asked why he's not in jail, Downey says, "I was, for a little while. But I'm out on bail. Thank God it's Los Angeles." And that's the high point.