Skinopsis

Lately, we've been noticing how fucking gorgeous Russian girls are. Throughout most of our short, pathetic life, we'd thought of Russkie ladies as fat women who said babushka a lot and stood in bread lines, but we don't know if it's the food shortages or the fact that most of the women we meet are either strippers or hookers, but we've been meeting some absolutely amazing Vodka-blooded bitches. None, however, come close to the exquisite, filthy hotness of Algina Lipskis whose name, granted, sounds like a disease we caught once from a Russian hooker, but whose amazing fucking body and beautiful face make this poorly acted thriller the kind of poorly acted thriller we're gonna watch whenever we feel lonely late at night. She opens the film displaying her borscht-fed tits in a strip club (and dirty blonde bush in the shower) before she zips over to England and fucks boys and girls alike (giving her many opportunities to show off her jugs and tattooed ass) until the Russian mob comes looking for her. We really, really hope that one of three things will happen to Ms. Lipskis's short career; 1. She gets famous and we see her all the time. 2. She gets into hardcore and we see her all the time. 3. She gives up acting and becomes a whore (like practically every other Russian slut) and moves to our neighborhood where we will patronize her every night.

-- Rick Stanko